Our local pharmacy-cum-grocery-cum-department-store had Advent calendars for sale on Hallowe’en afternoon. I think I saw Valentine’s Day candy on the shelves around mid-December, although it might just as easily have been Easter eggs. These days there’s no time for a decent interlude. We must have something to celebrate/buy at all times.
As in retail so it is with the media. This week has been a strange jumble of sincerely fake Christmas cheer, that-was-the-year-that-was nostalgia, and OMG-what’s-coming-next silliness. I’ve already made my Christmas wishes but with respect to these last two elements I regret that I can’t do justice to a full year, past or future — my attention span might be broad but it’s not deep — but I will share some award-winning bits from the last tenday or so, in several categories.
Best Mixed Messaging (subcategory: Interstate Billboards)
Because she is a gift,
not a given.
The illustration? Sparkly jewelry, presumably diamonds.
The advertiser? Pawn Superstore.
Best Poetry (subcategories: URLs, Interstate Billboards)
hitbyatruckcallchuck.com
Best Employee T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)
Bacon your dreams come true
Best Patron T-shirt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium parking lot)
Big Country Snake Removal
Most Sensible Dietary Substitution for Regular Table Salt (subcategory: Fast-Food Emporium)
Most-Sensible New Chocolate Treat (subcategory: Candy-in-Candy)
Best Bilingual Pun (subcategories: Restaurant, English/Spanish)
Best Numerology (subcategories: Social Media Sites, Knitting Sites)
Best New Utensil (subcategories: Folding, Single-use Plastic)
And yes, the spoon on the right does have a hint of a face.
Best New Utensil (subcategories: Edible, Replacement for Single-use Plastic)
Forget those soggy paper straws: Starbuck’s got this.
Best Movie Homage (subcategories: Unintentional, “The Princess Bride”)
I’m worried about this frenzy of impeachment votes.
– An American politician in a radio interview
Wait for it . . .
We’ve now had 3 in the last 50 years.
I do not think that word means what you think it means.
How about the Best Radio Quote….
Chuck Bonniwell of Chuck & Julie Show, Denver, Colorado, Dec 19, 2019.
In expressing dismay about the volume of news regarding the Trump impeachment…….
“You wish for a nice school shooting to interrupt the monotony”
Eric – Oh dear. I prefer my solution: Just. Turn. It. Off.
Yes, I saw that. I just shake my head in disbelief. Sane minds can’t imagine how low some folks’ will go. Buckle up.
Very funny. A nice collection of emblematic signs of the times. O dear. Did you know Americans eat 6 times the processed savoury treats as the rest of the world? I can’t image what the candy consumption is.
Barbara – I did not know that about processed savoury treats. I did know that the more you eat the more you want. 🙂
Signs of the times? Just remember that this year our vision will be perfect.
Wait for it….
2020
Tom
Tom – Hahaha. The first of many such jokes, I expect. Better than crying about the year.
Your inquiring mind and quick wit must make you the perfect travel companion, Isabel. May your perfect-vision New Year be wonder-filled!
Laurna – Hahaha. I’ll tell the Big Guy I’m the perfect travel companion. Maybe except for my tendency to say,”Are we there yet?” 🙂 May you also have a wonder-filled New Year.
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