Standing outside the tub, I turn the water on. I adjust the single-lever faucet off dead centre. I wait for hot/cold feedback. I adjust again. I wait again. I realize I will have to wait an unknown period since this is the first time using this shower and its sensitivity to adjustment is likewise unknown.
I finally determine the macro faucet placement to produce hot water, not cold. I adjust the micro placement to produce tolerably hot water, not scalding. I wait for tolerable/scalding feedback. I adjust again. I wait again.
I determine that the feedback delay and/or responsiveness likely exceed my patience, so I will have to settle for close enough. I pull up the shower diverter valve.
Ack!
A blast of close-enough to tolerably hot water blasts me smack in the face, faster than I can move or even think. But as I scramble reflexively to turn off the water, I realize that I am thinking something.
What the hell?
Shaking water off my surprised hair, I glare at the nest of levers or screws controlling this combination rainfall-and-handheld-blaster shower head. There’s nothing obviously wrong with the set-up. Ever so carefully I pick the handheld blaster out of its rack, turn it to face down, and turn the water on again, noting in passing that my sudden lunge to stop the flow of water has disturbed the hot/cold tuning. One problem at a time.
Yes, something is set to direct water to the blaster head, not to the gentle-as-the-dew-from-heaven rainfall shower head. Holding the blaster facing away from me and at arm’s length, I twist a screw behind the rainfall shower head.
Oops. The rainfall shower head just sagged. I turn off the water. I set the now-harmless blaster down. I lift the rainfall shower head and tighten the screw holding it in place. I consider the remaining options. I pick up the blaster head, turn on the water, and twist a different screw.
Success! Water no longer blasts out of the blaster: it flows gently, almost rain-like, out of the rainfall shower head. I push the shower diverter valve down, redirecting water to the tub spout. I adjust the single-lever faucet from the position it randomly acquired during my stop-the-water lunge to the known macro position for hot water, not cold. I wait for tolerable/scalding feedback.
You can guess the rest. Well, almost. Having been attacked by one shower in this rental unit, I approach the other one with more caution. As I pull back the beach-themed shower curtain–Down to the ocean! Along the shore! Hello sunshine!–this is the set-up I see.
Shower in attack mode.
This is the shower after my expert intervention.
Safe to use.
I know (and love) that line from Goldfinger: Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence, three times is enemy action. But really? Surely sometimes twice is enough to indicate enemy action. I mean, what are the odds that not one but two showers would be left in attack mode–with the water flow directed to the blaster, and said blaster turned outward–just by chance?
We had a rental cottage with much the same set up and challenges
Glad you finally were able to have your shower in comfort
Jim R – It’s a conspiracy!
Maybe the shower-cleaner-person was left-handed?
Jim T – Could be. Likely, even. I finally “saw” that the blaster would be good for rinsing a tub after cleaning, and the natural tendency would then be just to hang it up. No one would think to redirect the water flow, unless they were using the shower for a shower.
Lord, give me patience…and hurry!
Tom
Tom – Yup.
Isabel – blame the cleaners that will come in and give a rental unit a once over between tenants.
They have a standard for everything, from folding towels to the position of shower heads.
John – I’m going to suggest a small amendment to the standard . . . 🙂
But if you ask them to change their standard, they may miss doing something. Then the guest will complain about the poor service. (The standard gives them a quick visual check that they’ve completed everything, no matter what room or unit they are in.)
Just accept that showers in rental units are like foreign lands. They are all different an you should proceed with caution.
Also, my limited experience tells me that many women don’t like water, regardless of the temperature, bouncing off the ceiling and then onto their hairdo. Another reason why shower heads are left in a standard position.
John – Fair point. Proceed with caution – with unfamiliar showers and with changing instructions.
Some showers need you to take a weekend course at Algonquin.
It’s one of those SMART appliances smarter than the user.
Barbara – Yes, it’s getting tricky out there. Stay alert. (And for those who aren’t familiar with “Algonquin”, here it is.